i've had one too many but i just can't seem to stop myself! i don't just crave, i DESIRE!there's that innate longing for anything that can satisfy my tastebuds and in my search for the best, i pride myself in going through the forest, so to speak, searching high and low, no matter how far, no matter how tedious. yes, when i am on the prowl for the best...i leave no stone unturned. or, ensaymada for that matter.

yup! i finally concluded my search for the best ensaymada in this part of the country. i have a sweet tooth and i have a penchant for anything unique. so when i accidentally came across "perfect ending's" dulcemada- wow - this ensaymada just blew me away!and it wasn't just me! wewin, my honey, truly loved it!we went to his friend's birthday party and there was this pale blue box being passed around. no one was really minding it at first then i distinctly remembered having the privilege of discovering the wonders that beheld such an unassuming box. it looked as if it was just another ensaymada. it looked "cute."not your usual big-sized ensaymada. looked like teacakes to me at first. when i removed the plastic cover i was delighted to see almond chips scattered on top of it!it looked so dainty in my hands. but nothing prepared me for that first bite. as i sank it in between my teeth, my senses were jolted into what could have the sweetest surprise of all! caramel! then, my mouth just went nuts! then i had another one..and another one. not long after, everybody on the table was a convert. and surprisingly, most of the guys really loved it and some even pocketed one or two for take-out!

well, i tried the other ensaymadas around and they each have their own unique qualities. but at the end of the day, all you can just think about is the ensaymada that you would want to eat over and over again. something that you would still look forward to even if you had to order it at least a day before. even if you had to travel the distance just to pick it up from its bakery. even if the one who took your order bungled so bad the first time you vowed not to order anymore. thank God i didn't have to do that because the owner herself called me up and went to my office to apologize and deliver my order..much to my sheer delight! not only that..she also gave me an extra - a marjolaine! yumyum! what do you know? sweetness personified.:)

until i find something better..."perfect endings" is it for me! hmm..i think i should order soon. :)

sometimes you wish life is just a grand vacation.no worries, no stress, no pressures, no deadlines, no bosses.how you wish you can just wake up anytime you want, eat and drink at your convenience, dress however you like, not watching how you guffaw or make inappropriate gestures without a care in the world, twirl, jump, play, and mess up your room!sigh. just like when you were a child and you were still unexposed to the rigid and conventional life of an adult, that is, always having to conform to norms. what was it that was robbed from us? our innocence? our childlike qualities? our lack of manners?

hard, yes. but as you grow old, things change. even the way you saw things before.they all change. you try to assess and reassess and reflect and at the end-trail of your thoughts, you wonder what was it you actually thought about. you go to the process of evaluating and assessing and justifying things that you end up not appreciating things just for the way it was. sometimes, things are just best felt and experienced. period. no what-ifs and buts. simple. uncomplicated.which life should be after all.

sigh. i am old and i miss being a child. at times, i just want to go home and be with my mother and father. just want to spend time with them. i want to be cuddled, my hair stroked, my parents telling me stories, my mother singing me lullabies, and just be an obnoxious sister to my brothers and sister.how time flies. and i am now turning 33.

on the other hand, as an adult i have to face my responsibilities. i have to work, pay my rent and all expenses, and save for my wedding. the last item i have been trying to do for the last year but in vain. at night, i would resolve not to get married anymore.the prospect of having a family is even worse thinking about! with the rising cost of living, i have to think whether or not i am responsible enough to bring someone into this world. will my child be raised well? and i still think about these things as i turn 33.

i am paranoid 'cause i want everything to be perfect. but there is no such thing as perfect. and i am only at odds with myself.

how i wish i do not think as much and how i wish i do as much.