when i was young, i dreamed of becoming a film actress. i became an actress alright but solely on the stage. i did a dance-drama, a musicale, a monologue, a drama, a comedy but always, always on the stage. performing onstage is one of the most rewarding feelings i have ever experienced. and i still keep on doing it whenever the opportunity arises, regardless of whether i get something in return. acting by itself is an art form and a passion that i would really pore countless hours for it. oftentimes, pro bono.

now, an opportunity presented itself: acting on camera. whoa. is this my dream come true? when i learned more about the project, it was actually more about my dreams coming true; it's about using your talent to help a greater cause. instead, you are an instrument in making other people's dreams come true. you are actually helping in making kids' dreams materialize and giving them more time to actually see it. alive.

"buhi" ("alive" in english), is a short film about coping with pediatric cancer. dr. henry grageda is the scriptwriter/director while kkk (mga kaibigan ng mga kabataang may kanser), spearheaded by dr. socorro martinez, is the producer. at the helm as director of photography is award-winning indie film director and artist oskie nava ably assisted by che and frances lacuesta. this is a project that aims to raise awareness and, hopefully, funding for the treatment of kids with cancer. the recipients of this project are families based in iloilo with children with cancer who are too poor to cover for their chemotherapy treatments, among other things.

i play the role of risa, the mother of the cancer patient, nina. (nina is the name of one of the kkk's recipients who recently passed away). destitute, the family still finds a way to make sure nina's health is attended to. the story revolves around nina, her dreams, her family especially her brother, the hospital staff, and the other kids with cancer. it's a story of hope.

also in the cast are some of the members of up teatro amakan alumni association, my theatre group. playing the role of the father of the cancer patient, Jose, is Ramir Ocbena, who is also no stranger to indie cinema; the cuckoo herbalist, Nang Sima, is played by Andy "Baboy" Cortez, who is a professional singer; and, playing a true-to-life role of a doctor is cancer-survivor Doc Ping Norada-Montebon as Dr. Ylagan, Nina's doctor.

the kids' in this short film are amazing! AC plays the lead role, Nina. Lady plays MacMac, another cancer patient. John Ross plays Dario, the brother of MacMac and the love interest of Nina. Armel plays the super adorable role of Nonoy, Nina's younger brother. Also, joining the kids' cast are Lirio, who will play one of Nonoy's playmates, Jenny; and another kid who will play Loloy. (Loloy is still not identified at this point).

other supporting cast are: John Ross' older brother, Christian, as Nurse Virgilio/Nurse Virgie, who is actually a nurse; Dr Jude "Ms Never Never" as the real-life KKK volunteer, and the many extras who gamely and generously gave their time to this production - from the Iloilo to Guimaras wharf and back, at the Guimbal Hospital, etc. My PA, Joy, was also included in the cast!

of course, former co-worker, Amy Tudence, herself a KKK volunteer, is our coordinator and "cakeholder."

on hindsight, i never really imagined this dream of mine to act on film to happen at all. i'm not young anymore and i'm married so all dreams of living the life of a celebrity was for me not a possibility. but, what i lost sight of was that i dreamed the life of a celebrity; not an actor. and this project brought me back to reality - yes, i can act and perhaps really act well enough to be on film. i may never get celebrity status but this is way better!

i have big hopes for this production especially for the cause it represents. i've seen two of the recipients, leukemia patients Sander and Acel, during our workshop, and i was really moved to tears. they're just about the same age as my nephews and i can't help but think that they still have a lot going for them. if there's anything else we can do just to extend their lives a bit longer.

a little bit. this is what this short film about. a little bit of passion, art, compassion, time, effort, talent, love, and all things in between.

you can really do more with a little bit.

tiger shrimps in aligue sauce Php 130.00

when in iloilo city and when craving for some seafood, troop down to freska restaurant in smallville, mandurriao. my favorites are: oysters in four-cheese sauce and managat en papillote. lately, we discovered this scrumptious dish, tiger shrimps on a bed of crab fat sauce or aligue sauce! and for the cheap price of Php 130.00 it is so worth it! my hubby loved it so much. just don't order it often. crab fat is fatal! :)

our carpenter is so talented. we showed him a cabinet design in a magazine and discussed the final look with him. using our stock old mahogany wood, he whipped up this elegant piece of furniture for us! we'll just put on a natural stain and yes...we have our own custom-made closet.

it took me awhile to choose my candidate for the next Philippine president. mostly it had to do with the process of elimination based on standards i set for myself: (1) competence; (2) leadership qualities; (3) intelligence; (4) compassion; (5) a good representative for the country in the international arena.

at the outset, though, my eyes were already drawn on Gilbert Teodoro. he was like a whiff of fresh air from all the familiar names and faces that presented itself to me.

before i detail why Gibo fits my bill for president, here's a rundown of where i am coming from:

my government exposure/work experience has brought me from the sangguniang kabataan (pioneer batch) to a presidential assistant's office (Visayas) to the supreme court and to the senate. i have a legal background and i've been around politicians and celebrities to know how power, in its many forms, works. i've also met local, national, and international figures and i know how much authority one should muster to get some action or at the very least get your message across. i've seen good ones; bad ones; rotten ones. i've run the circles from the executive branch of government to the judiciary and the legislative. i've talked to victims, oppressed people, disenfranchised individuals and communities, stakeholders, proponents, visionaries, leftists, bureaucrats, yuppies, the rich and the famous, the poor and the poorest of the poor. i can say that i have more or less have encounters with the marginalized sections of the country and more or less have an inkling, if not informed knowledge, of each and everyone's pain and desires. with all these tucked in the deepest recesses of my brain and each one ensconced in the caverns of my heart, i have more or less an overall concept of what we need as a people in general.

and, so my quest for the next leader of the land begins.

first, competence.

is he qualified to be the next president of the country? albeit the philippine constitution only requires that one can just read and write and run for president, we all know that this is not telling. and probably one of the reasons why we should change the constitution. don't you think that this is quite an affront to the demands this position requires? literacy is not enough. one should have the ability to perform a task. and what is this task? to head the nation, stand his ground and give wise decisions.

which brings us to the second criterion, leadership qualities.

what to you is a definition of a good leader? is it all about wielding power to get results? or, is it having the requisite title that defines you as a leader? if you've read lao tzu's "tao of leadership," you will understand that one of the characteristics of a good leader is to be like the water - strong but yielding. you must muster enough command from your peers without being an authoritarian. you respect the opinions of your advisers and the people around you but without compromising your own take on the issue. you listen, you weigh, you ponder, you decide. your wisdom will make you a good leader and will warrant obedience from your people with the least resistance.

intelligence comes third.

in my study of early childhood education, i have learned that there are multiple intelligences of a child. our old concept of intelligence is only anchored on achievements in school. this is not so in the present concept espoused by howard gardner. as we are all created uniquely, we all have different fortes, so to speak. i am generally verbal/linguistic and musical/rhythmic intelligent than my husband but he has displayed a superb mathematical/logical and bodily/kinesthetic intelligence than i have. who is more intelligent? it depends on where you are placed in this world. in my world where words, music, and art reign supreme, i excel. put me in his world of sports and mathematical equations, i falter. thus, in a world of politics, leadership, command, good decision-making, and authority, i want someone who fits this world perfectly. to a T. :)

fourth is compassion.

more than just being all mind and brains, a good president should also have a heart. technically, it's still in the brain where the hypothalamus, the seat of all our emotions, is located, but let's wax romantic and use the heart as a symbol of compassion. more than just empathy or feeling for someone, one is compassionate when he or she goes out of his or her way to do more than just feeling for something or someone. it is a call to action - not confined in your thoughts, your hopes, your dreams, your ideas - but manifested in your actions.

last, good representative for the country in the international arena.

we live in a world where world leaders fraternize with each other to address global issues. brilliant minds attract like minds. we should not fall short in this department. we need someone who can make us proud in a sea of nations. in a UN convention, for example, our president should be able to hold his/her ground well and have the power to influence and be an effective catalyst for change. it's not even a bad idea to pitch in someone with good looks, regal bearing, and a commanding presence.

if you've read F. Sionil Jose's Philippine Star article on Gibo as well as many other relevant articles about Gibo, you will know that based on his roster of work experiences as well as educational attainment and personal background that he is all these and more.

why not the other candidates? it's not my intention to irk anyone. i believe that you do not have to put down others just to gloss over your candidate's qualifications. just focus on what he has to offer and leave it at that. i just want to let it be known how i came to my decision and chose him over the others. he passed my standards with flying colors. i saw him for the person he is and the vision he has for the country and not for the party he is carrying. in the end, one' s loyalty to a party ends when loyalty to your country begins.

this coming May 2010 elections, one thing is sure. i am voting for a better Philippines in the able hands of Gilbert "Gibo" Teodoro. i pray that he will steer the country to greater heights.

God bless the Philippines!

happy birthday, honey.

you rock.

love you.

honey :)

if i were to walk down the aisle with wewin all over again and profess my vows of love, i would be saying these lovely words from Lamb's Gorecki:

If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
Still my heart this moment
Or it might burst

Could we stay right here
Until the end of time
'Til the earth stops turning
Wanna love you 'til the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart most calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

Wanna stay right here
Until the end of time
'Til the earth stops turning
Gonna love you 'til the seas runs run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

All I've known,
All I've done,
All I've felt,
Was leading to this
All I've known,
All I've done,
All I've felt,
Was leading to this

Wanna stay right here
Until the end of time
'Til the earth stops turning
Gonna love you 'til the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

The one I've waited for

Wanna stay right here
Until the end of time
'Til the earth stops turning
Gonna love you 'til the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

The one I've waited for

The one I've waited for

i took up educational units while i was taking up law in the 1990s and it was eventually nullified because of double enrolment. i gave up education and prioritized taking up the bar exams. (which, looking back, should have been the other way around! :)) then, i eventually took up a masters' course in early childhood education in dlsu while working at the senate early 2000 but didn't get to finish it. i went home to iloilo city and transferred to wvsu where i am currently on leave.

now, an opportunity presented itself. i am going to teach music, drama, and games in an elementary school. and i am quite scared. all this time, everything that i have learned has been in theory and now the application part has come. i know i am ready but...i don't know if i am confident enough. i want to be prepared about this and i have so many things that i think about that worries me.

will i teach well?

will the students get me?

will they like me?

will i be a good and effective teacher?

what happens if the students misbehave? how should i handle it?

how should i handle grade 5 from grade 6/7 to grade 8 students?

can i really make them sing as a group?

will their voices blend well?

will i be patient?

aaahhhh...

trust me to pray all the time about this.

this was taken a year ago and i still look fat in this photo! hahaha i have since lost weight - thanks to a regular exercise and sensible diet.

but i don't care if i look fat...i just love how i am with my niece, cloie, in this pic. she looked so lost here and couldn't be apart from me. but now...well, i hope she still misses me. on may 4th, 2010, she would have been staying in the US for a year now.

miss you baby close.

mommy inday

transitions always scare and excite me all at the same time. the uncertainty of something piques me but it also makes me hesitate. this tentativity, so typically Libran, is truly killing me and how I wish i were less of one. but there's no escaping who I am.

so, yes, I am forever thinking and weighing things....