you always go back to the things that you are accustomed to. you foray far and wide and try new things, but you are really anchored quite deeply into some things in your life and you have the tendency to really go back.

this realization hit me after i joined the rest of the world on Facebook. i've been shunning it for the longest time and trying to avoid it like the plague but as fate would have it, for the sake of my kindergarten, i had to submit and join the throng of people who are encamped in this site...almost 24/7.

i was comfortable sharing my thoughts and opinions here on blogger as well as on twitter, tumblr, and multiply. i have my share of followers but most of the time i took comfort in the knowledge that i have a space that i could just be free to echo my innermost thoughts without fear of anything...away from the maddening crowd, if you will. a social media recluse, if there is such a term.

so now, i have come to some conclusions and realizations about people's behavior in the different social media platforms based on my personal experience and observations. of course, i don't believe this is a general observation because my personal and social interactions cannot be likened to any other. but here goes...

BLOGGER
i revel in my anonymity. i rarely get comments so it's just like an online journal or repository of my innermost thoughts. wondering, though, if i just haven't found the time or effort to really maximize its potential. this is where i unleash my Carrie Bradshaw.

TWITTER
the challenge to encapsulate everything that you wanted to say in 140 characters or less appealed to me. brevity in thought but still coming out witty is a great thing. i also delight in the exchange of random tweets with strangers, celebrity or otherwise. it's the closest thing to my heart right now.

TUMBLR
i wanted a photo-blog where i can just highlight some good or interesting finds with nary a photo of me. and i love seeing all the artwork from other blogs! a treasure trove of artistic finds.

MULTIPLY
and it's all about me! my photos are plastered everywhere. well, it wasn't named vanity of vanities if it weren't so. it's a photo album and for the longest time became my blogger, too. it's a big part of my social media life.

FACEBOOK
everybody's here. literally. friends, family, sellers, businesses, etc. it's an entirely different world. everyone is peddling - thoughts, experiences, businesses - for that ubiquitous like or comment or share. it's very interactive but it's also very superficial to some extent.  but maybe because i'm such a newbie and i don't really know yet how to handle it properly, i get so overwhelmed by a lot of notifications. one thing's sure, though, it's a great vehicle to expand your social network locally. i got good responses for the preschool through Facebook. beats advertising. what i've noticed is that people toggle through all the updates fast. if you want to catch another's attention, you have to post pictures. it's like texting or sending short messages; forwarding or sharing pictures and other reposts from others. people here are very visual. i don't think this is a good avenue for original ideas.

oh well, after all is said and done, you just choose where you want to hang out in the online world depending on where your mood will take you and what your intentions are or what motivates you. and if all else fails, i still have my journal at home where i could happily write.

when i was young, i dreamed of becoming a film actress. i became an actress alright but solely on the stage. i did a dance-drama, a musicale, a monologue, a drama, a comedy but always, always on the stage. performing onstage is one of the most rewarding feelings i have ever experienced. and i still keep on doing it whenever the opportunity arises, regardless of whether i get something in return. acting by itself is an art form and a passion that i would really pore countless hours for it. oftentimes, pro bono.

now, an opportunity presented itself: acting on camera. whoa. is this my dream come true? when i learned more about the project, it was actually more about my dreams coming true; it's about using your talent to help a greater cause. instead, you are an instrument in making other people's dreams come true. you are actually helping in making kids' dreams materialize and giving them more time to actually see it. alive.

"buhi" ("alive" in english), is a short film about coping with pediatric cancer. dr. henry grageda is the scriptwriter/director while kkk (mga kaibigan ng mga kabataang may kanser), spearheaded by dr. socorro martinez, is the producer. at the helm as director of photography is award-winning indie film director and artist oskie nava ably assisted by che and frances lacuesta. this is a project that aims to raise awareness and, hopefully, funding for the treatment of kids with cancer. the recipients of this project are families based in iloilo with children with cancer who are too poor to cover for their chemotherapy treatments, among other things.

i play the role of risa, the mother of the cancer patient, nina. (nina is the name of one of the kkk's recipients who recently passed away). destitute, the family still finds a way to make sure nina's health is attended to. the story revolves around nina, her dreams, her family especially her brother, the hospital staff, and the other kids with cancer. it's a story of hope.

also in the cast are some of the members of up teatro amakan alumni association, my theatre group. playing the role of the father of the cancer patient, Jose, is Ramir Ocbena, who is also no stranger to indie cinema; the cuckoo herbalist, Nang Sima, is played by Andy "Baboy" Cortez, who is a professional singer; and, playing a true-to-life role of a doctor is cancer-survivor Doc Ping Norada-Montebon as Dr. Ylagan, Nina's doctor.

the kids' in this short film are amazing! AC plays the lead role, Nina. Lady plays MacMac, another cancer patient. John Ross plays Dario, the brother of MacMac and the love interest of Nina. Armel plays the super adorable role of Nonoy, Nina's younger brother. Also, joining the kids' cast are Lirio, who will play one of Nonoy's playmates, Jenny; and another kid who will play Loloy. (Loloy is still not identified at this point).

other supporting cast are: John Ross' older brother, Christian, as Nurse Virgilio/Nurse Virgie, who is actually a nurse; Dr Jude "Ms Never Never" as the real-life KKK volunteer, and the many extras who gamely and generously gave their time to this production - from the Iloilo to Guimaras wharf and back, at the Guimbal Hospital, etc. My PA, Joy, was also included in the cast!

of course, former co-worker, Amy Tudence, herself a KKK volunteer, is our coordinator and "cakeholder."

on hindsight, i never really imagined this dream of mine to act on film to happen at all. i'm not young anymore and i'm married so all dreams of living the life of a celebrity was for me not a possibility. but, what i lost sight of was that i dreamed the life of a celebrity; not an actor. and this project brought me back to reality - yes, i can act and perhaps really act well enough to be on film. i may never get celebrity status but this is way better!

i have big hopes for this production especially for the cause it represents. i've seen two of the recipients, leukemia patients Sander and Acel, during our workshop, and i was really moved to tears. they're just about the same age as my nephews and i can't help but think that they still have a lot going for them. if there's anything else we can do just to extend their lives a bit longer.

a little bit. this is what this short film about. a little bit of passion, art, compassion, time, effort, talent, love, and all things in between.

you can really do more with a little bit.

tiger shrimps in aligue sauce Php 130.00

when in iloilo city and when craving for some seafood, troop down to freska restaurant in smallville, mandurriao. my favorites are: oysters in four-cheese sauce and managat en papillote. lately, we discovered this scrumptious dish, tiger shrimps on a bed of crab fat sauce or aligue sauce! and for the cheap price of Php 130.00 it is so worth it! my hubby loved it so much. just don't order it often. crab fat is fatal! :)

our carpenter is so talented. we showed him a cabinet design in a magazine and discussed the final look with him. using our stock old mahogany wood, he whipped up this elegant piece of furniture for us! we'll just put on a natural stain and yes...we have our own custom-made closet.